Last week's entry certainly wasn't the cheeriest I've ever written so this week it's all about parties and football! Yoo hoo!

It may be a couple of week early but we had all of our leaving parties this week. I say all of them as of course we couldn't just have one now could we? The first one was on Thursday night at the BAGHA and was huge. Basically, there seems to be a mass exodus of expats this summer with most of the Brits I've become friends with heading off somewhere else or back to Blighty. I've asked around and there doesn't seem to be any real pattern to it, just coincidence that a lot of people with their contracts up happen to be from the same group of friends. So anyway, 4 guys who are leaving decided they would throw a party, or ""The Big One"" as the flyers called it, and they very generously allowed me to be included in the list of hosts without having to contribute a brass razoo to the costs. Good deal if you can get it!

The planning had been going on for a while, and we had one drunken meeting at the BAGHA some weeks before but I don't think a single decision we made that night actually held or proved useful. In the end it was all done through e-mail, and luckily one of the co-hosts, a certain Alan Brooks, is also a BAGHA committee member so could get things done and sort out the Manager when needed. In the end we had a covered dance floor outside with PA system and DJ, an extra outside bar, 32 litres of punch (no but seriously, and it was all gone by midnight) and finger food being taken round by waiters after 10pm. I couldn't tell you how many people came but it was probably around the 150 mark, and what was great for me was that it was the only time since I've been here that all my different friends have been in the place for a good time. It was nice to flit from group to group like that when I wanted to, and reminded me of what a proper party or night out should be about!

The next party was actually the very next evening, and yes some of us were not 100% recovered. This second gathering was a VSO affair hosted by the 6 volunteers who came in 2003 and are leaving over the next few weeks or months. This of course includes Sarah and I but also covers the rest of the group that Sarah came out with. The last time we organised a similar party last year for Ann and Bjart it had been too much work as we'd done the cooking too, so this year we farmed that out to our cleaning ladies for 3000 taka and just did some decorations and a booze run. We even had the use of someone's big car for an hour so the humping and bumping was easy too! In the end we had a pretty good time and had no shortage of beer and gin which isn't something we could have said at most of our other VSO gigs. Ultimately though we were a tad tired after the excesses of the night before so we all went home around 1.30am and left aforementioned cleaning ladies to tidy up the next day (for 200 taka I think - money well spent).

In addition to successive parties on Thursday and Friday I'd also been out for a few beers on Wednesday night after 5-a-side football. We lost narrowly to the league leaders managed by the same Alan Brooks I mentioned earlier. Incidently, the name of our team is the Dhaka Donkeys (for obvious reasons given our talent and fitness levels) though has been rebranded this season to DNKY, and Alan's team is called the Trojans and I honestly don't know why. Anyway, Alan's been here for 7 years with his family, has never won the league, and is probably leaving this year so is running out of time to get a trophy on the mantlepiece. They did beat us, and afterwards our "Gaffer" Tom sent out a match report in the style of an article written for the main English language newspaper called The Daily Star. I've included here as I think it's damn funny and a very good piss take of the style and language that the paper uses, not to mention all the shady dealings that happen around the different political parties and corruption in general. Enjoy:

The world of international soccer was plunged into turmoil this morning after rumours of a match fixing scandal were leaked to an inside informant of the Daily Star. Mysterious party links across teams have muddied the waters of this season’s Dhaka 5-a-side league at ISD, Bashundhara. The allegations arose after the victory by the Trojans team against DNKY. Despite suffering a recent dip in form, many bystanders were puzzled by their lacklustre display and half-hearted attempts to score against the lively but beatable Trojan side.

With the scores at 3-2 with 8 minutes to play, even the heroic efforts of goalkeeper Farid Bakht in saving a decisive penalty could not prevent the 4-2 defeat. The ball rebounded off the 'keeper, only to be followed up by a young Trojan with DNKY seemingly uninterested in defending against this possibility. Touchline officials leaked information to our correspondent that the penalty had been given away by DNKY maverick Keri Smith through a blatant two footed lunge in the penalty area after receipt of a brown envelope from Trojan manager Alan Brooks. DNKY captain Tom Tanner was also among the accused, pulling his shots wide and ball-watching as the Trojans put away all of their goals, including the penalty.

After this fiasco, the dark underworld of the league system came to light during an anonymous interview following the game. Brooks, Smith and Tanner all have links to the same party, being held this evening at the Bagha club, and the victory was given on provision of a bung of non-payment of the associated costs of punch and finger food by Tanner and Smith. The league organisers have been informed of the dacoity of these miscreants and they are now at large, having escaped on foot after ISD cops failed to nab them at the scene of the crime.

Pretty good huh? In my defense I didn't know that sliding tackles weren't allowed, and the referee had even let a few go without whistling earlier in the game so was very inconsistent on this point. Yeah well whatever eh?